slowdown..........

sometimes i get so eager in my life and people then have to force me to slow down. This happens with every single thing, even when i have good intentions, i tend to go overboard. It's simply one of my thousands of flaws but i do think its pretty cool that God still loves me despite these deficiencies. The big one that hit me today is getting impatient with myself, about a relationship I wanted to get moving. I hate when i catch myself doing these things because then i feel ridiculous afterward. One day I'm perfectly content with my life the next i long after something else. What this ultimately is misplaced desire. When i should be desiring God more I desire something else to fulfill me. I'm just to stupid to see it until someone points it out.

I don't understand it but I'm such an impatient person that i just let that drive me and my desires. If there's one thing that I've learned about God it's that he's extremely patient because he puts up with our stupidity constantly. So if I've ever acted like n idiot around you i do apologize and I'm not going to promise i wont don't do it again because i probably will, but i will strive to be better.

I'm officially switching to comm studies with a concentration in organizational communication. Basically I'm getting to pick an choose what classes i want to take. It will allow to open so many doors and i think I'm going to be living in Ireland for a bit in the process. Hopefully more on that later.

Heres a lyric i wrote recently that kind of hits exactly how i feel about love right now.

"Take the lead"
she said to me
you know this place better than I do
on my knees
begging please
that these days won't end without you

January 3rd, your leaving town
and I am so busy with school
but if I made the time
maybe I would find
something worth fighting to keep

and if this is still a game
than I've got more to learn
but if love is still on hold
then please just take the lead

Summer is a lonely time
hours spent living life
for a paycheck at the end of the week
that makes me miss friends
and the time we spent together

and if this is still a game
than I've got more to learn
but if love is still on hold
then please just take the lead

and I promise this is more than
just another thing I'll give up on
it means more to me
so just take the lead