Monday, March 28, 2011

Here I am, Here I'll remain.....

Its pretty crazy that I have a savior thats really there from beginning to end. Day and night, sunrise till sunset.

The lord has been sweet to me in this season of my life. I've been taught a lot of good things, new things, affirmed of old things. I'm convinced more and more that me living for myself is just not going to work out. In fact it seems a lot of "normal" things that people want from life are just not so attractive to me. I'm not sure still what everything will look like. I just know that God has weird/cool things in store for me in life. 

I'm growing in the idea of not having a chance outside of him, I literally am truly believing that for the first time in my life. He's sort of becoming my oxygen machine, to be removed would cause me to feel dead. I've struggled with dependency my entire life......not to drugs, alcohol, or any other substance but to emotions, situations, or relationships. So I'm thinking maybe finally I'm becoming dependent on the thing I've always needed to be dependent on in the first place. I love it, so much joy inside this scenario! 

Things outside of Him are losing their attractiveness and serving him just seems like the best thing. Its weird I feel like my life has changed so dramatically over the last year and yet I'm honestly back in the same place I always thought I'd be. I thought I'd be graduating with very little attachment to anything and have the ability to just go serve. Guess what? I'm not attached to anything despite my best efforts to be attached and now I'm so thankful for that fact.

 I'm humbled by this. 

That word just keeps coming to mind "humbled". humbled before the Lord, because I'm pretty sure He has it figured out, even when I feel so lost, I haven't lost that since of peace and humility that he knows exactly whats going on. 

Here's a few things to think of and pray for. 

I'm feeling like a cynic far too much these days. humble me in this area God.

Whats next? Praying for that, would love it if you would too. 

I'm trying to be intentional about praying for my friends and family more often, so a biggie for me right now is all my college friends being faced with big changes in their lives. Pray for them to see the bigger picture and not just the lures of money and success. Also specifically my friends Joy's father has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. This is tough stuff kids. Pray for Joy and their family at this time. 

Also please whoever reads this. If you want to comment prayers, I promise I will pray for them. 

Love. Peace. Hope. 

Thanks for reading, keep loving each other.