i can do all things through.....

I want redemption. I want to taste the water. I want to fill my cup. I want to dance in praise. I want to love like He did.

I will always be His. I will never outrun Him. I will come back to open arms.


He is my Father and I am His son. 

I am His. He gives me my name. I am His. I have no allegiance to anyone but my Father.

I pray for strength to be a man that can serve Him. A man that pursues His mission, His Vision, His heavens.

I will praise today and tomorrow if I am given that much. I will love him forever and ever. He will not stop and so I will not also.

His is my Father and I am His son.

Contentment..........

I think we have a choice everyday to believe the things we know to be true. For instance I have to remind myself always that me not knowing what is coming is not necessarily the worst thing. I think its scary knowing that life is coming at a hundred miles an hour and we have to somehow figure out where we fit inside this mess. 

I want to be successful.

I want to love my job.

I want to marry my best friend.

I want to know what’s ahead right this moment.

I want to believe that its not my job to worry about this.

We have so many wants and frankly it exhaust me. I’m just so sick of not being content or understanding of where I am. God put me here and I need to just accept that. God has always given me so much love in my life and I need to accept that and love that. I’m terrible at this game. Still lots of learning to do. 

grace........

If we truly believe in grace. If we truly believe in the mission of Christ. 

Then we must forgive, redeem, and forget.

How many chances? As many as it takes. 

I don't deserve anything.....

I'm blessed no doubt about it. I take it for granted. I'm trying to accept love more......or start at all. Pray for me.

Just enjoy the ride...........

I'm learning to just enjoy the people in my life. Just relax and enjoy the wonderful gifts God has given me. I get myself so stressed over the dumbest things its unbelievable. So I think God is teaching me to calm myself down in this life and just take it easy. One day at a time and love every second of it. It's tough relenting control of the things I want to cling so tightly too but I'm learning that its better to just accept we have no control in general. God is awesome in the fact that He knows whats best for us always. I'm thankful for that for sure. Anyway that's my current place. Prayers are always welcome in my life, especially as I start to close the final chapter on my college life.

Peace and Love.

scared to death.........

Is it normal to be excited and terrified of something at the sometime. God has been a-mazing to me in so many ways my entire life so why should I even be surprised that he's brought something else awesome in my life. I'm still figuring out the whole thing its like this weird mixture of excitement, fear of the unknown and thankfulness that for the first time in my life I think just maybe their is someone in my life that I'm happy to bring along for the ride. It scares me to death because its an area of my life that I'm completely unfamiliar with. Its just different for me trying to navigate the heart of someone and even more importantly trying to do it in a way that Jesus would prefer. It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of little signs from God that help me figure out how to just be a better person and also a unselfish person in this thing. Its just so very strange, I like it, but it is just so strange. Anyway I'm really leaning heavily on God through the whole process. Baby steps, for sure.

Much Love.

life is a classroom.........

and we all learn a little bit about ourselves every single day. I think its very cool when God allows people into our lives that teach us that we still have a lot to learn and accept about ourselves. I'm one of those people that is extremely prideful in the fact that I'm often viewed as "humble". It's like some strange disease that takes a hold of my mind and makes it puff up. I think it might just be called growing up this process that I'm going through but I think that I like the fact that God never lets me stop growing up. I remember years ago probably in my early teens thinking that at this point in my life I'd have everything figured out and just be like complete or something......needless to say I was wrong. I think now I realize that I will continue to learn as I continue in my life and that just gives me an excitement about the future. I think its incredible to think of how happy I am right now and to think that as I grow i can find even more joy in the Lord. God has been a truly lovely presence in my life. I can't thank Him enough. Its also good to know that everyone has this opportunity in their lives.

Much love and Peace to all.

the best things.............

come for the patient in this life. I think I'm learning to once again except my fate in this world as not something that I can create, change or move. It's God's decision alone and I have to sit back and watch it unfold as he see's fit. Its unnerving to no end but I'm think we need the complexity that God brings into our lives. He is like this chaos that just creates a whirlwind of beauty. I think I'm learning to embrace this complexity little by little. I think about how God has worked out things in my life and it utterly bewilders me. I think he is really concerned with the little things in our lives that develop into bigger projects for us to discover. I love that about Him. I think here in my early 20's I have found a Jesus that is probably made me feel the most whole that I've felt in my entire life. Now I'm really trying focus in on trusting Him as my fulfillment every single day of my existence.

So my senior year begins soon. That's weird it seems like I just began this journey yesterday. It'll be a tough year but I look forward to coming out of the other side as better than I was.

Love you all.
Peace. Hope. Love.

I want to see some glory...........

I sometimes just want to see jesus. Like him next to me with the holes of His hands burning embers into my mind. I've been thinking that I'm selfish in my love of Christ. I just use and abuse him. I treat him like some hired servant that fills my wine glass when it starts to empty. I don't want that. I want to allow God to be the man that he is. A lover and an Onlooker. I want him to be the ocean that consumes me in the cold moonlight. I need a Father, I need an Anchor, but most of all I need a Savior that is sufficient to quench my taste for love.

That is all.
Much Peace and Love.

the sentimental type............

Its strange looking back through old photographs. Pictures that attempt to describe a place in our memories, they never quite do it. They never quite nail down the moment specifically, the pains we felt that day, the laughs we shared that night, the concerns we had lingering over our head. I like to remember, it reminds me of how many great moments I've got to spend with people that I've been blessed enough to be around. It also reminds me that as big of adventures as I've had I still got a lot more that I want to do........but I still get a smile when I think about those moments.

Peace.

tell me whats your favorite color............

I'm in LOVE with the new Tokyo Police Club record. Check out "Champ" .

Much Love and Peace. 

shake it out...............

I like be rattled occasionally. It wakes me up and slaps in the face as if to say "your a dumb ass". I agree almost always. Anyway I've woken up and I'm ready for summer to really begin. Love you all.

Act One.............

When we're born we open our eyes to a world we've never seen and don't understand. There is a since of wonder in the eyes of children. A impending sense of discovery that pursues them around every bend and every change. Somewhere in my life I lost that, I lost the sense of narrative in my own life. I lost the fact that I do have a my part to play in a grand narrative that I do not author.

This week I came to the realization that life is a frail thing. It comes and goes as swiftly as it enters. We are born in 9 months, we can leave in a second. I don't understand death, it's like some dark monster that hides out in a closet ready to steal our body from this earth. It ravages families, breaks hearts, and leaves us asking the tougher questions.

We are born, we breath, we die.
3 acts.
We all get them but most of us never even use them. Today I realized for the past 21 years I have not used them, or in the very least used them unwisely. I often catch myself putting off things in my life whether it be changes, schoolwork, or relationships because I simply feel it can be done tomorrow. I now realize that today and only today is when it should be done. Risk must be taken, pains must be felt, lessons must be learned, and forgiveness must be given. I am nothing, no one special and if I ever start to feel as if I am then I want God to slap me across the face.

Today I want to live a story, that I can look back on and say there was a sense of wonder in all that I did but also death had no type of role in the story it was nearly an end that leads to a sequel (and this one will be better than the first!)

with much love and peace I present to you

Act 1: New Life

strange and unprepared......

I'm good at very little. I like to think that somehow I've been a decent friend in this lifetime. I definitely don't give anywhere near the time that I should to my relationships and maybe someday I'll learn to be a better steward of my time in that regard but for now I limp through them. With hope and regards for the future. I love my friends though and don't ever think that I don't feel the burden and the weight of the blessing that have been handed to me.

Today I had to for the very first time contemplate the reality of leaving this reality behind for something more in this life. Here's the truth for sometime I've been thinking of moving out west, more specifically to the pacific northwest. Portland has been calling my name for sometime now. Why Portland? I think I need a break from the traditional values of the Midwest and some artistic new perspective that I can breathe in. Leaving my friends though, that's the hard part. Its hard when you think "well I have everything here...family, friends, opportunities". Yet I want a second chance on a place to live, breathe, and grow, Ireland was in some strange way step 1 wherever end up is step 2.

Maybe I'll change my mind a year from now, maybe I won't but I will definitely be something new and different because of both my maker and the love I will give/find.

Much peace and love.

you could say a lot of things.........

about life but tonight I just wanna say it is good. I'm feeling content, it feels weird. I think lately I've just found some peace about the way things are and the people I have around me. It's great stuff and I'm happy :)

In other news I'm scrambling to get all my projects done before summer gets here and make no mistake about it, it will be here fast. It is exhausting to think about honestly but hey I'm happy.

On another note, Kenny Vasoli is awesome and you should check out all of his projects.

Thats it.

Pray for:
Russia and their want for vengeance for the killings.

its never easy.........

it seems. Crazy how busy life can be with school work, big productions, and leadership responsibilities. In the midst of that I try to put God aside to handle things myself and then I lose balance.

Anyway a friend of mine recently told me organized religion is the downfall of humanity. I thought that was really interesting cause I've heard that stated by different people but never anyone I've actually known.

I'm gonna take a second to unpack that statement. I think first of all he has a point, even if he just said in an uneducated manner. If you look at the church its a crap hole that has so many problems and fighting amongst itself that it actually damages those things that surround it. Including the very people that it is often attempting to help. So the question remains is this our downfall? I don't think so completely. Our downfall is us and the maddening people that we are. We all contribute to the problem in our own way.

For instance I'm often a liar, a terrible demonstrator of love to individuals, and an overall unreliable person. In a word I often do very little to help the small problems that pop up in the daily lives of the people that we move among every single day.

So I'm the downfall. Were all the downfall because we've all fallen.

Now isn't it interesting that the only solution that I've found to this problem is through a savior named Jesus that often gets attached to organized religions. He loves as we should and then we shall understand what we must do to help correct this place.

Some thoughts to swallow and digest.
Love and peace for all you do.

thoughts about nothing........

tonight i blog because I feel the need too. I don't have any life changing advice, I don't have an answer, hell I don't even have anything meaningful too say. So sorry to take up your time with a meaningless babble.

Tonight I'm dreaming of many things heaven, my life 5 years from now, some girl I've never met and some place I'll probably never go. There are a lot of things that I could be doing opposed to writing this post, homework, sleep, or reading but alas I dream because dreaming is what makes people better and grow to their potential.

I miss that sometimes. I get lost in a grind that consumes even to the point of losing my mind. But if I dream. I am better, I am creative, and I am me.

I want someone to dream with me and soon. So lets dream, all of us as one.

Peace

doors swing wide..........

its fun seeing God move your life in different ways. This week i closed the door on a huge portion of my life and it's quite eerie to let go of something that you poured so much time into, its been cool to watch God open up massive doors and opportunities that will help me transition into the next part of my life. Its nice to be growing up and actually being excited where I going which is just indescribable feeling of relief. It sorta slaps you in the face and lets you know that God is in control (and he so knows what he's doing :)

Good times peeps, I'm excite for the future.

Much love and peace.

waiting up for you when you get home.......

life is a tough thing sometimes. were blessed beyond words and yet we somehow find ourselves desiring more. recently for me its been a relationship or in the very least someone to wait up for me when I get home. Someone to call when I'm away, someone that loves me the way I am and I in turn feel the same towards her. Do I deserve any of that, absolutely not but it is something that I honestly hope someday I can find.

Its harder still seeing your friends so in love. I'm happy for them don't get me wrong, but I do wish I had my own person to turn too.

I'm in Florida right now. Its beautiful and its nice to be around a large group of my buddies. They are a great encouragement to a often times tired soul.

God is still teaching, for which I'm grateful.

Pray for me and pray for the people you love. Most of all pray for the ones you don't.

love is gonna grow.......

out of these cold dead things.

were all just casting shadows........

When tiredness people think crazy thoughts i'm thinking of mine right now. Is it wrong of me to say that America is boring, that college life has lost its pull. The people have become boring, unchallenging and lacking interest. I'm a cynical bastard this i know but i do in fact miss ireland like hell. I miss the pubs, the conversation, with a beer in hand. Life on the other side of the pond is trying. Maybe i need more freedom in this place. Who knows.

i'm wide awake, it's morning............

I love Bright Eyes. That is all.

a seasoned soul.............

We get old. We get there fast. We die young. Somewhere along the way we write a story.

I want mine read aloud.