can't slow down.............

We'll folks here it the first song/lyric from the most complete collection of writings of my life. This is still a rough version so it could change drastically but the general idea is there. So the story behind the lyric is basically my complacency in the world at this point in my life and a reflection on what I've already done. I'm restless therefore i can't slow down but at the same time I'm very much wanting to find something solid to grasp. Fortunately God has me covered as i grasp tightly to Him.

-Can’t Slow Down-

I fell in love at 15/Never felt the same/Just chased an old flame/That never quite burnt out/It was me and it was her/But now it just seems like a blur

Sometimes I wish I knew where I was going/Maybe have someone to call home too/But I know things are good/And I know I have a Father that loves me/So I guess I’ll just keep moving/Cause God knows I can’t slow down/No, I can’t slow down now

20 years on the road/To many places I’ve called home/Watched the sun set on the Pacific/Then watched it dance on the Atlantic/Never thought I’d love again/But then I found something new in Severin

I’ve seen so much/In so little time/And yet I still feel like/There’s so much left to learn/So God give me grace/To go on/Cause I can't slow down now

tilt your glasses steep........

Then drain them if your like me

I don't get life. It just is so confusing. I feel stronger some days than others and then there are days where I stare into space and ask myself "why". There are days I love God, then there are days I feel as if He is my enemy. Now don't freak out and say oh no "he's lost his faith". That's not it at all, trust me I believe in God more now than ever, in fact his realness has been impressed upon me so hard that it kills me every time that I look in the mirror and know that I haven't really served Him the way I should. The truth is I'm a mess but I really am starting to think we are all just messes that are some how held together by something. I don't know this is just random crap I suppose. I feel as if there is a bigger issue at hand here that i am missing though. Pray for me and my screwed up self. I'm fighting some of my biggest battles right now. Home is coming along, I feel a purity in these writings that I've never tapped into before.

P.S. listen the farewell flight

gasoline and vaccines........

If I'm a one trick pony
then it's one heck of a trick
because all i can remember

is that I forgot your name
when I tried to forge my own way
it's so hard to be honest
when your born from a lie
so don't give me pity
just give me a city
to burn down

everybody get your guns
will make ends meat tonight
by slaughtering our insides
no one cares when there's nothing at stake
so dance your last dance
we've got nothing left to lose

I threw up at the drop of the hat
You say "I'm worth more than that"
but I'm not too sure
when my life is just a blur
I'm drinking my life away
and I don't even need
alcohol to kill me
I'll do it myself
by the choices I make

I've been playing with gasoline
to find some kind of vaccine
for the love that we left behind
They wont forget us when were gone
because we'll be the ghost in their dreams

home..............

The word encompasses so much in our lives. We have our "hometowns" and our places we feel at "home". Yet at this point in my life I have no home, not at school, not at my parents house, not anywhere. So this has pushed me to think about what home really is, whether it really exist in our lives. This is my time in life to find answers and to be honest it scares to realize that I no longer feel at home anywhere but then one of my professors challenged me with something he said "Since when did God call you to be comfortable". That's when I realized I will know no home until I reach that other shore and kiss Jesus' feet. There is no home here.

"Home" is what I have titled my new collections of writings. I'm hoping to start unveiling those over the coarse of the next few months.

Keep the peace.
Keep the love.
Fight for the faith.

my account.........

is whacked hence the reason for no blogs lately. Working on getting it back together again though. Peace for now.
New stuff soon though.