Tuesday, December 18, 2007

a few things......

to read and take to heart.

"I can see no lighthouses"

Colder places, only lie in my empty heart/still with its hardened beat/ fighting against the love i had/ but I am so lost/deep in this murky sea/i don't know how I/ can fall asleep, tonight

Father who am i now/a man with all these doubts/so far from your common grace/ that i can't recall your face/how do you love me still/despite my broken will/to love at all

Lost cause, on distant shores/places with open doors/I'm scared of where I'll be/when i finally see/why i was hopeless here/ sharing the intrinsic fear of death

"I only feel Haunted when I'm awake"

Is there a ghost/inside this room/i used not to think so/but it feels like heaven and hell/just met in the same place/and i am still here

I can't sleep in this bed that I've made/It feels like an empty space/between me and where i need to go/i only remember what i want to forget/ i still feel the same about this today/as i did a year ago/where do we rest when there is none

I pretend like i am drifting/inside some freezing sea/watching day break on horizons/i wish that i could be/the one that didn't have to struggle/that doesn't have to count his breaths/I'm so dependent on the drug/and where did my faith go?

Hope and love/is something i need/inside this rundown place/it kind of feels like you missed me/ did you miss me?

"Simple Glances, Complex Consequences"

Your my excuse tonight/please just pretend with me/that I'm not the failure/I'm not the problem yet/I still look into your face/and lie about this/how can i lie about this?

You know me better than/i know myself/and I'd be a fool to believe/that i can hide this from you/there's not that much of a chance/that you'll let this slip by

Heres to hoping/i hope i feel better about this/when i wake up/and that pits in my stomach/like i just committed murder/this isn't murder/but it's the closest i have ever been/how can i live like this!

so don't let it slip on by/It's time to get this under control

and again, and again/i feel like this is my only option/my way out,you are my way out/so its time to check out,time to check out/I've been sleeping in this whores bed for to long


What happens now!/I am not your saint/your prince of peace/or a worthy servant/I am this mess that I've made

and how do i live with you/if I'm not comfortable with myself/how do i pretend in this moment that i am perfect/well were not perfect and won't ever be

Have you tasted this/the blood on my hands/and while i hold my hands/against their wounds/how am i supposed to shield my own/is this a hopeless endeavor/just a desperate gasp in some drowning

and still our deeds/are out done/by the grace you extend/would you please/just please,let me see/where this beautiful failure will lead me

"Only after a war(the hope is restored)"

This is my curse/my worst foe/just tie me up/I'm fighting this war/with only sand in my hands/this is the only place i feel this way

So wreck this heart/it's a mystery to me/why you would ever see me/why you would ever look down/on this place and have pity

were not alone in here/yet i feel like I'm running/through trap after trap/just barely slipping by/and are you still breathing with me?

i tore down curtains down today/and made amends with my past/we both agreed it was my worst mistake/to forsake you/and if i died tonight/i know i would die alongside you

This is my curse/my only foe/I'm such an addict/such an empty frame/that somehow found/something worth living for

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