Thursday, February 7, 2008

what it felt like.......

I'm reading through the gospels right now and kind of approaching them in a different manner than i ever have before. I'm really trying to imagine beyond the words on the page and think of the stories from a natural human standpoint. I was reading about the death of John the baptist today and then the bible says when Jesus heard about it he withdrew himself on the sea to be alone. I tried to imagine what he felt at that time. The pain he must of felt to lose what was probably the closest thing he had to a brother on earth. I think we sometimes see Jesus as this person that didn't feel emotions, grief, or pain. I don't buy that i think Jesus felt everyone of these things, i even think there were times when he wanted to give up on his mission but he kept on going to save you, me, and everyone else on this filthy planet. So anyway i wrote a poem/lyric to capture this. Its not much but i think its kind of beautiful to imagine.

on this lonely sea
in a cloud of grief
i have every intention
to put this behind me
i cant hold you anymore
no I've lost you now

my brother has been slain!
father why does his blood
have to be spilt
on my account

its not that i doubt
what your doing here
but in this moment
when the first to die
is layed in the ground
i wonder if this is not
the only thing that can be done

it is only through me
i know these people
can be saved from themselves
but at what cost
what blood must be spilt
beside my own on this ground

Sometimes i ask myself if I'd be willing to spill my blood for the cause of Christ. The older i get the more and more i feel i would rather die that way then peacefully in some bed somewhere, surrounded by family and friends. I don't think there is anything more beautiful then dying for what you believe in.

Keep trusting all, maybe someday you'll die for his cause.

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