the kingdom......

very few movies have grabbed me and taken a hold of my heart in my life. I could probably count them on one hand. Tonight i watched the kingdom and it was very poetic, heartbreaking, and saddening. Honestly my emotions are still whirling from it so I'm just going to be talking out of my head here.

I will never understand senseless violence. I could spend my whole life studying it and i still wouldn't scratch the surface of why it exists. Religion tends to be the reason for alot of it, i can't defend Christianity in this we have killed thousands maybe millions over time. I'm not going to justify that because i can't, it wasn't right. I do apologize however for all Christianity has done, and how far it has strayed from its message of love. I sometimes think that if we could all just make a patent to love one person different then us in the world all this violence would cease. There so much evil in the world, so much hatred, so much despair. I sometimes cry just at the thought of these things, but despite all of the power of these things love is still more powerful. How do i know, when you look in the eyes of someone who hates you and genuinely care for them, they hate it because they don't know what to do. they have no outlet for their hatred, and it withers and possibly dies. I say all these things as a person who is honestly starting to feel pain when others hurt or hate or whatever. It's hard for me to accept these days.

The story of the kingdom was powerful because of this. No one wins in the end. This is hard for us to see in our world. We can kill every murderer in the world but does that make us better? Won't some new villain just rise from this, probably in time.

"My God, what a world you love"

And He does love us, each one of us, the killers, whores, Muslims, hypocrites, liers, and blasphemers in us all. He loves us. I don't know why but He does and as hard as it is for me to accept His love i am, day by day i am learning to accept it.

I want to help people see this too. And God will lead me there someday. I'm thankful tonight, i might not be every day but i am tonight. I'm thankful for the great nation that we live in, the people i get to spend my life with, and the God i am honored to serve.

Anyway, sleep well all, i love you, and I'm thankful for you.
Love like its your last chance.