Life is strange as of late. I find myself either incredibly depressed or incredibly inspired. I need to find some happy medium. I'm sitting on my computer in a macdonalds of all places but its always a bit comforting to me to watch kids play. I think they're hilarious because they have no sense of the problems in the world around them. They're happy to be with friends and they don't know pain outside of scrapping up their knees when they fall on concrete.
I miss that. I miss being young enough to fall down and be picked up again.
Like I said life is strange. Innocence only last so long then we get hit with a harsh reality that is we are in a rather dire situation here on earth. I'm thinking sometimes that we create this dire situation is it true that we like living in misery? Is it true that we somehow comfort in knowing that everything is wrong. My best bud suggested that whilst listening to 80's music he realized how much more upbeat and and positive it was. I was like holy crap all the music I listen to is so depressing, another indicator that things are a little off no doubt.
Coming from a kid that finds himself often living among his own personal demons, I can say often that I don't know anything else. That my head convinces my soul that this life is a tiresome affair that couldn't be over soon enough. I'd by lying if I said I haven't prayed to God recently "to take me home soon". I just get so worn down. So beat up by the current state of affairs.
The truth however is that I have nothing to complain about. I'm still blessed beyond words. I'm still incredibly lucky. I have a lot of things to point to as blessings. A lot of things that indicate the faithfulness of God in my life.
I'm sorry God for when I get whiney and ask for more than you've given. I'm sorry that I'm bitch a lot about things that are only mildly difficult in the grand scheme of things. You are good to me and this I need to remind myself always.