sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I could stand outside of myself and watch to see my life play out. As of late I've been so mixed on my feelings about everything God, Love, My Actions, Job, Direction. Maybe all my fears have come to a head and bad timing has just lined them all up to slap me in the face at once. At the same time I feel like all timing is still tuned to the clock of God and that is at least a moderately comforting thought. I will be honest I hate trials there very shitty and make me press forward often when I would rather just sit back and die. I often have trouble finding good in these kind of situations and seemingly focus often on the bad. So whatever I'm being taught right now, at this point all I can say is it has defiantly hurt like hell to figure out so it better be some huge life lesson. I know I sound pissed off and I'm really striving to stop being like that. I'm honestly taking each day at a time cause honestly that's all I can pretty much do at this point. Trying to stay positive and say what I need to say with each day. Sounds simple but dear god it has been hard.
Life is beautiful............its just sometimes it gets hidden behind the crap of the now.
Sleep Well. Pray for me.