I must say the older you get the tougher it gets to walk through life. The more you need faith in something. I've tried putting faith in several things in my life. Almost all of them have left me feeling incredibly underwhelmed and unsatisfied. It seems every time I drift off that I find myself once again at the feet of Jesus begging to be taken back. I hate this cycle. I hate that I'm so incredibly intrigued by so many other things outside of His kingdom. I hate that I struggle and claw my way through a world that cares nothing of purity or love.
I am still here. I am still a child of Christ. What is around me is more often than not something that I cannot change. I believe contentment is a word that has no place in human nature outside of the grace of God. I've been paid for and I have a name in Christ alone. He is my Father and even though I'm a prodigal son so very often. I am still his son.
My sweet Jesus thank you for being so wonderfully gracious with me. Thanks for loving me in a way that no one has ever even come close to doing. I'm learning through baby steps how to love you in return the way you have so consistently chose to love me. Jesus you are forgiveness and to know that I am forgiven is to be set free.