Friday, December 19, 2008


I ask myself often if I am truly happy and more often than not the answer is a subtle no. Then upon further reflection I find that this is only because of my consistent uncommitment to the one who loves me more than anyone else. It's hard for many people to understand God to try to flesh out what he wants from us. I think he wants what everyone wants to feel his love returned to Him by us. I think he wants honesty even when were pissed off. I think he wants us to believe not because someone else told us to but because he has clearly moved in each of our lives. He doesn't want us to love him because He is our ticket to heaven but because He gives us fulfillment and a joy that is unmatched. Over these past few days God has showed me that happiness is not running as fast as you can in one direction. Happiness is not sex, a lover, or some single strand of fleeting joy. Happiness is not the rain that washes us clean from the worries we cling too.

Happiness is simply this. Us loving God and Him doing the same.

Why it has taken me so long to realize this I don't know but for the first time in my life I am thinking maybe the most clearly I ever have. Thanks be to God.

I love you all but not for what you do but for what i may be able to do for you.

Much Peace and Love

P.S. Have a very Merry Christmas and may you find happiness as well this holiday.

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