Here I am, Here I'll remain.....

Its pretty crazy that I have a savior thats really there from beginning to end. Day and night, sunrise till sunset.

The lord has been sweet to me in this season of my life. I've been taught a lot of good things, new things, affirmed of old things. I'm convinced more and more that me living for myself is just not going to work out. In fact it seems a lot of "normal" things that people want from life are just not so attractive to me. I'm not sure still what everything will look like. I just know that God has weird/cool things in store for me in life. 

I'm growing in the idea of not having a chance outside of him, I literally am truly believing that for the first time in my life. He's sort of becoming my oxygen machine, to be removed would cause me to feel dead. I've struggled with dependency my entire life......not to drugs, alcohol, or any other substance but to emotions, situations, or relationships. So I'm thinking maybe finally I'm becoming dependent on the thing I've always needed to be dependent on in the first place. I love it, so much joy inside this scenario! 

Things outside of Him are losing their attractiveness and serving him just seems like the best thing. Its weird I feel like my life has changed so dramatically over the last year and yet I'm honestly back in the same place I always thought I'd be. I thought I'd be graduating with very little attachment to anything and have the ability to just go serve. Guess what? I'm not attached to anything despite my best efforts to be attached and now I'm so thankful for that fact.

 I'm humbled by this. 

That word just keeps coming to mind "humbled". humbled before the Lord, because I'm pretty sure He has it figured out, even when I feel so lost, I haven't lost that since of peace and humility that he knows exactly whats going on. 

Here's a few things to think of and pray for. 

I'm feeling like a cynic far too much these days. humble me in this area God.

Whats next? Praying for that, would love it if you would too. 

I'm trying to be intentional about praying for my friends and family more often, so a biggie for me right now is all my college friends being faced with big changes in their lives. Pray for them to see the bigger picture and not just the lures of money and success. Also specifically my friends Joy's father has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. This is tough stuff kids. Pray for Joy and their family at this time. 

Also please whoever reads this. If you want to comment prayers, I promise I will pray for them. 

Love. Peace. Hope. 

Thanks for reading, keep loving each other. 

i can do all things through.....

I want redemption. I want to taste the water. I want to fill my cup. I want to dance in praise. I want to love like He did.

I will always be His. I will never outrun Him. I will come back to open arms.


He is my Father and I am His son. 

I am His. He gives me my name. I am His. I have no allegiance to anyone but my Father.

I pray for strength to be a man that can serve Him. A man that pursues His mission, His Vision, His heavens.

I will praise today and tomorrow if I am given that much. I will love him forever and ever. He will not stop and so I will not also.

His is my Father and I am His son.

Contentment..........

I think we have a choice everyday to believe the things we know to be true. For instance I have to remind myself always that me not knowing what is coming is not necessarily the worst thing. I think its scary knowing that life is coming at a hundred miles an hour and we have to somehow figure out where we fit inside this mess. 

I want to be successful.

I want to love my job.

I want to marry my best friend.

I want to know what’s ahead right this moment.

I want to believe that its not my job to worry about this.

We have so many wants and frankly it exhaust me. I’m just so sick of not being content or understanding of where I am. God put me here and I need to just accept that. God has always given me so much love in my life and I need to accept that and love that. I’m terrible at this game. Still lots of learning to do. 

grace........

If we truly believe in grace. If we truly believe in the mission of Christ. 

Then we must forgive, redeem, and forget.

How many chances? As many as it takes. 

I don't deserve anything.....

I'm blessed no doubt about it. I take it for granted. I'm trying to accept love more......or start at all. Pray for me.

Just enjoy the ride...........

I'm learning to just enjoy the people in my life. Just relax and enjoy the wonderful gifts God has given me. I get myself so stressed over the dumbest things its unbelievable. So I think God is teaching me to calm myself down in this life and just take it easy. One day at a time and love every second of it. It's tough relenting control of the things I want to cling so tightly too but I'm learning that its better to just accept we have no control in general. God is awesome in the fact that He knows whats best for us always. I'm thankful for that for sure. Anyway that's my current place. Prayers are always welcome in my life, especially as I start to close the final chapter on my college life.

Peace and Love.

scared to death.........

Is it normal to be excited and terrified of something at the sometime. God has been a-mazing to me in so many ways my entire life so why should I even be surprised that he's brought something else awesome in my life. I'm still figuring out the whole thing its like this weird mixture of excitement, fear of the unknown and thankfulness that for the first time in my life I think just maybe their is someone in my life that I'm happy to bring along for the ride. It scares me to death because its an area of my life that I'm completely unfamiliar with. Its just different for me trying to navigate the heart of someone and even more importantly trying to do it in a way that Jesus would prefer. It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of little signs from God that help me figure out how to just be a better person and also a unselfish person in this thing. Its just so very strange, I like it, but it is just so strange. Anyway I'm really leaning heavily on God through the whole process. Baby steps, for sure.

Much Love.