scared to death.........

Is it normal to be excited and terrified of something at the sometime. God has been a-mazing to me in so many ways my entire life so why should I even be surprised that he's brought something else awesome in my life. I'm still figuring out the whole thing its like this weird mixture of excitement, fear of the unknown and thankfulness that for the first time in my life I think just maybe their is someone in my life that I'm happy to bring along for the ride. It scares me to death because its an area of my life that I'm completely unfamiliar with. Its just different for me trying to navigate the heart of someone and even more importantly trying to do it in a way that Jesus would prefer. It takes a lot of prayer and a lot of little signs from God that help me figure out how to just be a better person and also a unselfish person in this thing. Its just so very strange, I like it, but it is just so strange. Anyway I'm really leaning heavily on God through the whole process. Baby steps, for sure.

Much Love.

life is a classroom.........

and we all learn a little bit about ourselves every single day. I think its very cool when God allows people into our lives that teach us that we still have a lot to learn and accept about ourselves. I'm one of those people that is extremely prideful in the fact that I'm often viewed as "humble". It's like some strange disease that takes a hold of my mind and makes it puff up. I think it might just be called growing up this process that I'm going through but I think that I like the fact that God never lets me stop growing up. I remember years ago probably in my early teens thinking that at this point in my life I'd have everything figured out and just be like complete or something......needless to say I was wrong. I think now I realize that I will continue to learn as I continue in my life and that just gives me an excitement about the future. I think its incredible to think of how happy I am right now and to think that as I grow i can find even more joy in the Lord. God has been a truly lovely presence in my life. I can't thank Him enough. Its also good to know that everyone has this opportunity in their lives.

Much love and Peace to all.

the best things.............

come for the patient in this life. I think I'm learning to once again except my fate in this world as not something that I can create, change or move. It's God's decision alone and I have to sit back and watch it unfold as he see's fit. Its unnerving to no end but I'm think we need the complexity that God brings into our lives. He is like this chaos that just creates a whirlwind of beauty. I think I'm learning to embrace this complexity little by little. I think about how God has worked out things in my life and it utterly bewilders me. I think he is really concerned with the little things in our lives that develop into bigger projects for us to discover. I love that about Him. I think here in my early 20's I have found a Jesus that is probably made me feel the most whole that I've felt in my entire life. Now I'm really trying focus in on trusting Him as my fulfillment every single day of my existence.

So my senior year begins soon. That's weird it seems like I just began this journey yesterday. It'll be a tough year but I look forward to coming out of the other side as better than I was.

Love you all.
Peace. Hope. Love.

I want to see some glory...........

I sometimes just want to see jesus. Like him next to me with the holes of His hands burning embers into my mind. I've been thinking that I'm selfish in my love of Christ. I just use and abuse him. I treat him like some hired servant that fills my wine glass when it starts to empty. I don't want that. I want to allow God to be the man that he is. A lover and an Onlooker. I want him to be the ocean that consumes me in the cold moonlight. I need a Father, I need an Anchor, but most of all I need a Savior that is sufficient to quench my taste for love.

That is all.
Much Peace and Love.

the sentimental type............

Its strange looking back through old photographs. Pictures that attempt to describe a place in our memories, they never quite do it. They never quite nail down the moment specifically, the pains we felt that day, the laughs we shared that night, the concerns we had lingering over our head. I like to remember, it reminds me of how many great moments I've got to spend with people that I've been blessed enough to be around. It also reminds me that as big of adventures as I've had I still got a lot more that I want to do........but I still get a smile when I think about those moments.

Peace.

tell me whats your favorite color............

I'm in LOVE with the new Tokyo Police Club record. Check out "Champ" .

Much Love and Peace. 

shake it out...............

I like be rattled occasionally. It wakes me up and slaps in the face as if to say "your a dumb ass". I agree almost always. Anyway I've woken up and I'm ready for summer to really begin. Love you all.